I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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