I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
