physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
