I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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