the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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