matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
