You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
