Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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