she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize