i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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