They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize