woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
