I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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