in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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