I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
