Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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