I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
