he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
