I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Randomize