ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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