I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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