I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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