Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
