what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You took a bar mat shot.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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