I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
