hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
