Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
