waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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