Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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