is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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