You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My feet surprised me
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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