Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
