a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
