quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
