I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
