East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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