LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
