One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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