you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
