Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
