Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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