There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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