that's an acceptable place to lick
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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