you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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