a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize