My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
