he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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