who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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