I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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