Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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