u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
