ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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