Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
