Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I use my feet as sexual weapons
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
