would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
its liver damage thursday
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
