I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
