So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
