At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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