glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
one might say we're banned from that church
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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