If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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