You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
