It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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