Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
